


you're my best friend (so we're dancing in this world alone)

by still_i_fall



Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, But theyre friends for a really long time, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Living Together, Oops, Sharing a Bed, This is kinda long, also it's mostly just harry and allie, and no one else, but platonically, get this, harry and allie are friends before all of this stuff, so like imagine this, sorry - Freeform, sorry these tags are a MESS, they're chemistry partners, wait also
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-04-24 16:22:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19176982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/still_i_fall/pseuds/still_i_fall
Summary: “You want a ride or not?” he said, and if it wasn’t for the twinkle in his eyes and the smile beginning to pull at the corners of his mouth, she might’ve mistaken his words as some sort of ultimatum.-or harry and allie are friends before it all





	1. before

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! Long time no see. Sorry I haven't been posting lately, but finals week has kinda been my entire life. 
> 
> So some background on this fic:  
> Harry and Allie are friends before all of this
> 
> Quick note: Harry is an asshole in the actual show but he's not really in this fic cause I'm a mess and can't write characters right.
> 
> Also, this fic was beta'd by [buckebarns](https://buckebarns.tumblr.com) / [wolfchester](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfchester/pseuds/wolfchester) She made this fic 10x better and without her this would probably still be a mess!
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> wait also the title and lyrics at the beginning are from the lorde song 'World Alone'

 

_That slow burn wait while it gets dark,_  
_Bruising the sun, I feel grown up with you in your car_  
_I know it's dumb_

 

 

/

 

 

Allie was partnered with Harry in chemistry two weeks into school and she wasn’t sure how to feel about it. Just about everything she knew about him came from her older sister and it wasn’t exactly positive stuff. Lots of _arrogant rich boy_ and _self conceited brat_.

 

However, chemistry wasn’t her best subject. In all honesty she kinda sucked at it. She hated the hands on part, pouring chemicals and looking for reactions that only sometimes appeared. If anything, _she_ felt bad for him for having to be her partner for the _entire_ school year rather than pitying herself for having to be his.

 

Will was also in the class and was partnered with Kelly much to Allie’s (and Harry’s) disappointment. They sat in the corner laughing a little too loudly at jokes she doubted were really all that funny.

 

“I take it you’re not exactly happy with the situation either,” he said after catching her staring at the corner and glaring whenever Will’s laughter sounded.

 

She was silent, not exactly sure why she should respond when he was already certain of her answer.

 

“I tried to pay off the teacher to let us switch-- not that I don’t like you or anything, just… you know,” he continued.

 

She rolled her eyes and turned her stare away from Will and Kelly. “Believe me, you’re not the only one who wishes this was different.”

 

She wasn't sure if Cassandra had ever said a single nice thing about Harry. But, Allie was tired of always being Cassandra's sister and there seemed to be nothing more unlike Cassandra than to even attempt to tolerate Harry.

 

So that’s what she did.

 

"How much did you offer him?" Allie asked, nodding her head towards the teacher.

 

She half expected him to tell her that he was just joking which left her all the more surprised when he responded with, "Two hundred."

 

She spat out a shocked laugh and he grinned back. "Two hundred dollars," she repeated, shaking her head in disbelief. "That's how much you were willing to pay to get rid of me. Good to know my worth," she joked.

 

He scooted his chair closer to hers - they’d been practically sitting on complete opposite sides of their shared desk -- and she resisted the urge to pull her own chair away, "Less to get rid of you and more--"

 

"To get to Kelly; I know," she offered him a slight smile, one he easily returned, "If I had a casual two hundred dollars lying around I'd probably do that too."

 

Harry grinned at her and for a second she forgot about Will and Kelly laughing in the corner. "I like _you_ much better than Cassandra."

 

She blushed a light pink and he stared at her curiously, smiling as he said, "Maybe chemistry won't be so bad this year after all."

 

She let out a laugh. "Don't speak too soon. I'm absolute shit at labs. It's kinda pathetic actually."

 

"Well then you're in luck ‘cause I'm amazing at measuring out chemicals and pouring shit. Easily one of my best skills," he said. She was beginning to wonder if he really was as bad as Cassandra had always said. Suddenly the stories seemed exaggerated and all she could really see was the charismatic boy grinning next to her.

 

That what she was good at: seeing the best in people, seeing things in people that others might refuse to acknowledge.

 

Cassandra was different. She didn’t make snap judgements about people - her opinions were thought through and made over time - but once a decision was made, it was set. She never budged.

 

When the bell rang they walked out of the class together, parting at the end of the hall as they went their separate ways. His words from earlier followed her, though. _I like you better than Cassandra_. She wasn't sure if anyone had ever chosen her over Cassandra. She kinda liked it.

  


/

  


They worked well together in chemistry. He wasn't lying when he'd said he was good with all the lab stuff, so it became routine for him to handle anything hands on and for her to stand off to the side, safety glasses on and notebook in hand, taking note of everything.

 

It was a good system; it worked well. She liked it and she was pretty sure he did too.

 

She was happy to report that her and Harry were most likely at least sort of friends. Maybe not the closest of friends, but friends nonetheless. He was still on and off with Kelly. He called it casual but still glanced towards her and Will in the corner of the room far too often to even try to fake disinterest.

 

Allie wasn't exactly sure how she felt about Will now. They were still close, ate lunch together most days (the days where he wasn't out with Kelly) and he'd come over after school sometimes. Things were different, though. She wasn't sure how, but they were.

 

But different isn't always synonymous with bad.

 

It was late October when Harry invited her to his after-Homecoming party. She said yes without an ounce of hesitation.

 

Cassandra hated that answer, even if she refused to flat out say it.

 

"You sure you want to go to this thing? Because believe me I've gone to those parties and they're never anywhere near as much fun as they seem like they're going to be. It's just a bunch of drunk high schoolers making out with each other and dancing to shitty music."

 

Allie rolled her eyes, "I'm positive I wanna go. Now can you help me zip up my dress so we can finally leave?"

 

Cassandra looked down at her and Allie wondered if she'd ever grow up in Cassandra's eyes. "Just remember that I warned you."

 

Homecoming in general wasn't all that bad. She’d skipped the game because football wasn’t really her thing. Besides that, she felt as though she was getting that quintessential high school experience, an experience that she’d lacked thus far. She danced a little and hung out with friends and ate way too many of the chocolate covered strawberries.

 

That’s where she met Harry, over by the refreshments table while eating strawberries and grabbing a drink for Cassandra. They both smiled at one another.

 

"You clean up nice, Pressman," he said, looking her up and down before settling on her eyes.

 

"Could say the same for you, Bingham." He was dressed in a sports jacket that fit him better than she’d care to admit and he carried with him, per usual, a familiar air of confidence. She was surprised with how comfortable she felt around him; that’s what Harry did best, make the people around him feel at ease.

 

"You're coming to my party afterwards, right?"

 

She nodded, taking a small bite of a strawberry before saying, "Wouldn't miss it for the world." And she meant it. A very large part of her was excited for this party, no matter how much Cassandra wanted to convince her otherwise.

 

He grinned at her and she grinned right back, "Need a ride there? Can't imagine Cassandra being the type to want to go to an after party."

 

Allie glanced back towards her sister who was mingling with some members of student council, "That'd be great, actually."

 

"Cool. I'll find you when I'm leaving."

 

She spent most of the rest of her time at the dance with Cassandra, following her around from table as she asked how people were.

 

“You sure you don’t want me driving? I can’t imagine Harry being sober at one of these dances. And how are you supposed to get home after?”

 

“I’ll be fine, Cassandra. It’s like a five minute drive, tops and he literally lives just down the block from us; I’ll just walk home if no one can give me a ride.” She knew that her sister just wanted what was best for her, but she was still sick of Cassandra’s worrying, sick of her sister trying to force Allie into the mold she’d created for herself. She was allowed to party and have fun and take risks every once in a while.

 

“I just worry about you, that’s all,” Cassandra whispered, eyes wide as she stared into Allie’s. It made her wonder how much of Allie’s inner monologue she knew.

 

“Thanks for worrying.”

 

Harry found her a little over half an hour before Homecoming officially ended.

 

“We gotta leave early so I can get some stuff set up,” he explained as he pulled her up and out of the chair she was sitting in by her wrist.

 

She rolled her eyes. “Didn’t take you as someone to set up for a house party, but okay.”

 

“You want a ride or not?” he said, and if it wasn’t for the twinkle in his eyes and the smile beginning to pull at the corners of his mouth, she might’ve mistaken his words as some sort of ultimatum.

 

“As long as you don’t make me pour bags of chips into bowls.”

 

“No promises.”

 

The drive to his house really was only five minutes long, but she still found herself watching his driving way more closely than she would’ve if Cassandra hadn’t mentioned Harry’s sobriety.

 

She almost didn’t ask, but her curiosity got the better of her. “Did you drink anything at Homecoming?”

 

“Like alcohol?” he asked and she nodded. “Nope. Didn’t think Cassandra would let you get anywhere near a car with me if I did. Wouldn’t put it past her to run up to me with a breathalyzer or something.”

 

And that was the part of Harry she liked, the part that did little things like not drink or bring her her homework when she was sick. They were things that shouldn't have mattered as much to her as they did.

 

“Well thanks for not drinking, then.”

 

“No problem.”

 

His house was bigger than she thought it would be. She wasn’t sure what she was thinking -- she definitely didn’t think he stayed in some shack--but it was weird seeing it in person.

 

“Do you ever get lost in your own house?” she asked, and he laughed as he unlocked the front door.

 

“Nope. Unlike you, Pressman, I have a sense of direction.” The door opened and the front hall was everything she expected it to be: large, lofty, and very bright.

 

“So you’re like a pigeon,” she said, following him inside and trying to take in as much as she could as quickly as she could.

 

He let out a laugh. “Just like a pigeon.”

 

“What do I need to do to help set up?”

 

He rolled his eyes at her. “Nothing. You just get to sit there until the party starts.”

 

“But I want to be helpful,” she whined and he gave her a look that screamed _you’re going to regret saying that because I have a bunch of really boring jobs for you to do._

 

She ended up setting out coasters (“ _You’re such a dork; you use coasters,” she’d said. “My mom will kill me if she finds rings on that cabinet,_ ” _he’d replied with a smirk_ ), locking upstairs bedrooms, and, much to her distaste, pouring overly large bags of chips into bowls.

 

“I bet the amount of sodium in one of these bags is enough to kill a small elephant," Allie said, pulling a third bag open and grabbing a bowl from a cabinet.

 

“I bet that by the time this thing is over you’ll have eaten one of those bags.”

 

While she was pouring chips and setting out coasters, Harry made a drink that he swore was ten times better than the stuff they were serving at homecoming “and alcoholic.”

 

(It was pretty good but she refused to let him have that victory.)

 

The party was fun to say the least. She danced and ate a shit ton of chips (probably a whole bag, Harry was right) and drank way too much of the punch.

 

“You having a good time, Pressman?” he asked, pulling her aside and leaning up against the wall, drink in hand.

 

She grinned. “Amazing! Lots of fun. I’m so glad I came!” Her words sounded more slurred than she realized, but she was happy, very happy.

 

“Good.” Allie leaned towards him with a smile and a laugh, her eyes drifting just once to his lips. Harry smirked at her. “But I think it might be time for you to head home.”

 

“No,” she whined as he grabbed her by the shoulders and lead her towards Grizz.

 

“Text me tomorrow morning when you wake up with the worst hangover of your life, okay,” he said.

 

She rolled her eyes but still said, “I got you.”

 

He nodded towards Grizz who nodded back. The door was opened and Harry was standing there, waving. She waved in response enthusiastically, her grin having returned to her face.

 

“I’ll see you Monday, Harry.”

 

His smirk became a smile as he said, “See you Monday, Pressman.”

 

She left the house, Grizz pulling the door closed behind her and made her way down the long walkway. She skipped a little, hopping over the cracks between stones.

 

Grizz let out a laugh and she turned to him. “Step on the crack and you break your mom’s back.”

 

“Thanks for the warning.”

 

Grizz drove like Cassandra, slow and careful, hands tight on the steering wheel, eyes straight ahead. It was comforting. She felt safe.

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at one of Harry’s parties,” he commented.

 

She shrugged. “They’re not really Cassandra’s thing which made them not really my thing either, but Harry’s my partner in chemistry now, and I guess we’re friends. I mean I like to think that we’re friends, so…”

 

“They’re not really my thing either. I mostly go to keep my friends from doing anything too stupid.”

 

“That’s nice of you.”

 

When she got home, Cassandra was still up but both her mom and dad were asleep. It made Allie wonder if Cassandra had waited up for her.

 

“You have fun?”

 

Allie nodded. “Yep, so much fun. Ate a lot of chips, drank a lot of punch, even danced a little. You should come with me next time.”

 

Cassandra pursed her lips into a smile. “I'm glad you had fun.” She couldn’t tell if her sister was being genuine or not. “I’m sure that you’re going to love the hangover you have tomorrow.”

 

And for a second, Allie wasn’t so afraid for next year and being without Cassandra.

  


/

  


Harry's dad died on the last day of November and he didn't show up to school for a week. She was worried, to say the least.

 

She was afraid that he'd come back and she'd say something stupid. And she felt bad, really shitty, because she knew that one day he'd return and she wouldn't know what to say. Allie especially felt bad when she found herself almost complaining about his absence when the teacher assigned a lab to do.

 

So she called him.

 

“Allie?” He sounded tired, his voice raspy like it hadn’t been used in a little while.

 

“Hi. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay, or at least sort of okay.” She waited for a response from him but there was only silence, so she continued. “And that you’re missing a shit ton of work in chem but I’ve been doing it for you. I even tried to copy your handwriting which was a gigantic waste of time because it turns out I suck at doing that. But when you come back, all you have to do is put your name on it. No promises it’s done right but…”

 

She heard him take a shaky breath in and paused her rambling, but he didn’t say anything. “And I guess wanted to tell you that I miss you and that I can’t imagine what you’re going through.” She thought for a second about what she wanted to say next. “I mean… when I was younger, I used to try to imagine that Cassandra was dead. She has a heart disease and it was kind of touch and go for a little while, and I was trying to prepare for the worst.

 

“But she didn’t die, obviously, so I guess what I’m trying to say is… I don’t really know what I’m trying to say, beyond that I miss you and I hope you’re doing okay.” She came to a stop, her lips pursed together and the phone pressed roughly against her ear. She kept looking around her room, trying to allow her eyes to settle on something and failing.

 

She could hear him swallow before he said, “Thanks Allie. I miss you too.”

 

And that was enough.  

 

Harry came back to school that Monday. He didn’t smile as much as he used to, but he tried, she could tell. In chemistry, she grabbed his hand. He was shaking, and she squeezed it, offering him a smile.

 

“I miss him, Allie,” he admitted.

 

She leaned her head on his shoulder, “I’m really sorry about all of this, Harry.”

  


/

  


He was different after his dad died. Not super different, just kind of different. It was little things, like the deafening silence before the loud jokes, like he was trying really hard to be what he used to be and not entirely succeeding. Sometimes he’d miss random days of school, or not talk for entire class periods.

 

Allie wished she could say she didn’t miss the old Harry. It felt wrong to think that when he was the one that was hurt, not her.

 

Especially when, largely, the old Harry was still there. He was still that same overly charming charismatic boy that was partnered with her in chemistry.

 

Half way through the year, he got transferred into her math class and decided to sit next to her.

 

"I promise I'm better at math than chemistry," she whispered, leaning over to him but keeping her eyes on the teacher.

 

He laughed. "That doesn't really say much, does it."

 

She turned to him, feigning hurt. “Shut up.”

 

He started to text her, too. At first it was questions about assignments, but then he started sending her things he thought were funny, and stuff that happened in the classes they didn’t share.

 

_Harry: and then this kid jumps on the desk and is all like fuck u to the teacher and runs out of the room_

 

_Allie: oof._

_y r the seniors so much funnier than the juniors_

_its not fair_

 

_Harry: srry but also not srry at all_

 

They’d buy each other donuts depending on who got the best score on a test. She learned that maple bars were his favorite, a bit of information that she didn’t think she’d ever need but loved to have.

 

“I can’t believe you’re driving me all the way out to New Haven because you want a donut,” she said, leaning her head back in her seat and tilting her head to the side so she could stare at him.

 

“Not just any donut, the best donut. This place puts bacon on their maple bars and-”

 

“Wait wait wait,” she interjected and he let out a soft snort. “You’re making me miss my Spanish test because you want a donut with bacon on top?” Harry nodded and she let out a loud, exaggerated sigh. “I almost want Cassandra to kill you.”

 

“You don’t mean that.”

 

She resisted the urge to tell him that she didn’t, that she wasn’t sure what she’d do without him  sometimes, and instead replied with, “We could’ve just bought bacon at the store.”

 

He scoffed. “Like either of us know how to cook bacon.”

 

“We can learn; we have Google and Youtube.”

 

He shook his head at her, as if to say that her ideas were terrible. “It’s almost like you don’t want me to be happy.”

 

She made a face at him even though she knew he couldn’t see her. It was more the thought that counted. “I don’t if it means I have to sit in a car with you for over an hour. I’m about to fail spanish; I really need to pass this test.”

 

He rolled his eyes, “Don’t even worry about that test. The teacher loves Cassandra. I doubt she’ll fail her sister.”

 

“I don’t want to pass the class just because Cassandra’s my sister.”

 

His eyebrows furrowed and nose scrunched up. She tried her hardest to avoid the thought that _he was cute_. “Why not. What other pluses’ are there to being her sister besides the fact that she’s been sucking up to the teachers since forever? Take advantage of it. I would.”

 

Those words stick with her. She’s not sure why, it’s not like they mean much, it’s just the fact that Harry can see her and Cassandra as two separate people while acknowledging the fact that they’re irrevocably connected.

 

“I feel bad for my sister. She’s going to come to school and all she’ll hear about is how much of a shit I was in class.”

 

Allie laughed. “You’re not that bad. Teachers like you, I think.”

 

“Think?”

 

“Know. They like you.” Harry seemed to beam at her words. Weirdly, she’d never been more proud.

 

The donuts were good. She told him that and they bought extras to take home to her family as a sort of explanation for her absence. They end up eating them in the car and her family had to settle for a blurry picture and a series of texts apologizing for her disappearance from school. Her parents didn’t care much, seemingly happy that she was happy.

 

When Allie got home, Cassandra was in the front room, sitting on the couch with a book in her lap. Her sister pursed her lips and offered a thin smile as she watched Harry’s Porsche drive away.

 

“So you and Harry are friends, then?”

 

Harry was competitive and fun, and they’d share notes and assignments, and yeah--they were friends.

 

Suddenly, Allie realised that Cassandra wasn’t the only person she’d miss after graduation.

  


/

  


Harry and Cassandra were both cast in the spring play (they’ve been in every spring play since their freshman year; they wouldn’t miss it for the world), so of course Allie decided to work as (assistant) stage manager. She’d never been one for the spotlight. It was too bright, and  entirely Cassandra’s thing. There was no need to give people another opportunity to compare her to her sister when she could so easily avoid it.

 

“Run lines with me,” Harry commanded, pulling her away from the side of the stage and into the green room.

 

“I’ve got things to do, too. You can’t just-” but her words only fell upon deaf ears as he tugged her down next to him on a prop couch.

 

“Nope. You’re the _assistant_ stage manager. That you means you get a little more free time, and the privilege of helping the star of the play rehearse his lines,” he told her, nudging her side with his elbow and handing her his script.

 

“Helping Cassandra practice her lines was never on the list of assistant stage manager job requirements.”

 

Harry scrunched his face up. “Ha ha, very funny. Now help me practice these lines; I swear I don’t know any of act three.”  

 

After every performance, Harry would slip her a flower.

 

“To the assistant stage manager, the real star of the show,” he joked and she’d grin, holding the flower up to her nose and breathing in.

 

He didn’t need to know that she saved every flower that he gave her, crushing them in an old, heavy book and staring at them when she remembered that school was almost over.

  


/

  


It was May when it happened, when they boarded the busses and fell asleep and awoke to a world that was not their own.

 

She’d been texting Harry when she’d fallen asleep. There was still an unsent text message in the little box, and she couldn’t help but wonder how she’d passed out so quickly. It wasn’t normal for her to fall asleep suddenly.

 

Harry had been sitting alone. Him and Kelly were off, Kelly had actually been sitting with Will. For a second, Allie had thought about sitting with Harry. They’d made eye contact and he’d even offered her a small smile, but then Cassandra had pulled her into the seat next to her and that had been that.

 

It was dark outside when they rubbed the sleep out of their eyes and exited the bus.

 

Something was off about their home, Allie could feel it. A lot of people could feel it. Some of them were beginning to feel nervous and uncertain and maybe a little scared. Or, at least she was.

 

“Doesn’t look like anyone was expecting us,” Cassandra said, more to herself than anyone in particular, but people still listened. People always listened when she talked.

 

Allie tried to call her mom. Everyone was trying to get a hold of their parents. No one could. The phones just kept ringing.

 

Campbell was the first to leave. His action started a mass exodus of sorts and soon no one was left.

 

“Can I crash at your place?” Will asked and she almost wanted to say no, to tell him to go home with Kelly because he seemed to love to do that, but she couldn’t bring herself to. Will was still her friend, still a person who seemed to know her just as well as she knew herself.

 

“Sure.”

 

When they got home, Harry was the first to call her. “My mom must’ve left town with my sister.”

 

She was searching her house, opening closet doors as though she would find her parents hidden. “My parents, too. It’s weird, though, cause they didn’t text us anything, and I think their cars are still here.”

 

“Yeah. Everything feels kind of weird.”

 

Allie said a sort of goodbye and promised to call him if she learned anything. Then she went down stairs and sat with Will and Cassandra, her phone clutched in her hand. She was scared.

 

“I think the storm knocked out our data,” Will said and no one said anything in response. It’s what made the most sense, blaming a storm they didn’t even really see on what was going on, but it also didn’t make any sense at all.

 

Nothing was starting to make sense.

 

“We need to get everyone together.” Cassandra finally said, moving to grab her own phone from the coffee table. “Text people; make group chats. Tell everyone to meet at the gazebo.”

 

Allie couldn’t help but think that this was to be expected of Cassandra, to take charge. At the gazebo Cassandra asked questions about whether or not anyone was able to reach their families. Allie wasn't surprised when the answer was no.

 

At some point, Harry made his way over to where she was standing, nudging her with his elbow and offering her a weak smile.

 

She still smiled back.

 

“Everyone’s probably just been evacuated,” Cassandra started before continuing on about how this is just one big mistake, that their families were just in some far away shelter without any data. It was a weak story and no one believed it. She told everyone to go home and that everything would be better in the morning.

 

And as much as Allie wanted to believe her sister, as much as she wanted all of this to be one really elaborate nightmare, Allie also wanted someone to say something against her. She wanted someone to tell Cassandra that logic can’t rule everything.

 

And that’s what Harry tried to do. He tried to question her, “Is that your advice, Cassandra?”

 

Cassandra didn’t believe her own story, but she really did want to, Allie could tell. “Yeah, yeah Harry. Just go to sleep.”

 

No one listened to that part. No one went to sleep.

  


/

  


The party at the church was the craziest party Allie had ever been to.

 

She drank more than she’d like to admit, laughed loudly when Harry spilled beer all down his front, and danced like it was the last time she was ever going to be able to.

 

It was fun.

 

At some point, she spotted Kelly sitting off to the side in a pew. Allie was almost certain that Kelly was staring at her, and her inhibitions had left after her second beer, so she walked right towards her.

 

“Hi,” she’d always liked Kelly. Kelly was smart, and kind, and friendly. Maybe part of Allie once thought that Kelly stole Will from her, but that part was long gone. Will wasn’t an object to be stolen, he was person fully capable of making his own decisions.

 

“Hey Allie.”

 

Allie smiled, glancing quickly around the room until she spotted Harry. She always spent her time without Harry looking for him.

 

Kelly must’ve caught her staring at him because she said, “You like him?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

“Go for it, if you do. He needs someone like you in his life.”

 

Kelly's words caught her by surprise in a way she wasn't expecting. They sobered her up suddenly with the idea of a romantic relationship with _Harry Bingham_ of all people. Not even a year ago all he was to her was her sister’s biggest rival. Now he was her friend with the potential to be even more.

 

In a different world, they weren't sent away to some alternate universe. Maybe in that world, everything worked out. But here, everything was new and weird and different. She wasn't sure if she wanted to this to be different too.

 

In this world, she shared another drink with him before pulling him home. She fell asleep fully clothed in a bed that was not her own and woke up absolutely certain that this wasn't home.

  


/

  


The sun was bright, shining on the bed though the open curtains, and Allie's head was pressed against Harry's chest listening to the steady beat of his heart. She woke to his arms around her, holding her close, and their legs intertwined.

 

She also woke up to approximately a million texts from her sister and Will.

 

The night before she had texted them her location and told them not to worry. They'd worried, of course.

 

It was mostly texts asking her _wtf is going on_ and _harry bingham!?_ . A few read _the church is a mess - get down here and help us clean up!_ and _i seriously can’t believe you went home with harry…._ There were no texts from her parents.

 

The world was still different; the sunrise hadn't changed anything. They were still alone.

 

Her head felt like shit, like a caffeine rush on an empty stomach, or that fogginess she’d feel after reading in the car, so the first thing she did after taking in the feeling of waking up in Harry's arms was untangle herself from them and search for a bottle of Tylenol and a glass of water.

 

"Allie?" he said, voice raspy and tired, his head barely above the pillow.

 

"That's me."

 

"Whatcha doing?"

 

"Looking for tylenol. Do you have any?"

 

He pulled opened his bedside drawer and held up a bottle for her. "You'll have to go to the bathroom for water."

 

She took the bottle from him, struggling for a second to pull it open (her mom had always opened it for her) and he laughed. "You need some help?"

 

Her face scrunched up and she shook her head before finally twisting and pushing in just the right way, pulling the cap off.

 

She placed two pills in her mouth and cupped her hands together to gather some water. It didn't work all that well and she ended up getting more down her front then in her mouth. At least now she was awake.

 

Harry came up behind her. he spotted him in the mirror rubbing sleep from his eyes before laughing at her soaked top. "You got a drinking problem, Pressman?"

 

She let herself laugh at that one, and he grinned. "We're supposed to meet Cassandra at the church in 20 minutes," he told her. "Your sister's taking her place as our dictator."

 

Allie rolled her eyes, crossing her arms across her chest. "Well someone's gotta. Better her than someone like Campbell."

 

"Isn't he your cousin?"

 

"Yeah and he's fucking insane."

 

Harry took a few pills and swallowed them dry. "Well I think _I'd_ be a better leader."

 

She shrugged, "Maybe. But you haven't done anything yet," she brushed past him and went to grab her shoes. "Just let her have this. Please."

 

He didn't say anything. She took his silence as a reluctant yes.

  


/

  


The forest was big and dark and scary. She cried when she saw it. Harry was shaking when he reached for her hand. She grabbed it and squeezed; it was their routine.

 

Every way out of their stupid town was gone, covered by wilderness not previously there. It was like they'd been dropped in the middle of nowhere, taken someplace that was simultaneously new and the same.

 

A search party to look for help was created. Neither Allie nor Harry wanted to take part. Allie already knew that there wasn't anything out there. She didn't need to see it for herself.

 

"We'll be fine,” he whispered, but it was more of a question than a statement. No one knew what was going on. No one was certain of anything.

 

She decided that she’d go home with Harry before he even asked her. Cassandra looked like she was about to say something but didn't.

 

Will, however, did say something. "What the fuck are you doing with him, Allie?"

 

She ignored the question and got into Harry's car. Her friendship with Harry was none of Will's business, especially when he liked to keep Kelly such a secret. It wasn’t like everyone didn’t know how into Kelly he was. Everyone was aware of it, so there was no point for Will to even try to hide it.

 

Harry drove home fast. The top was down and the wind was in her hair and she felt herself leaning back and closing her eyes. There was something normal about driving around in Harry’s car. She could imagine that they were just getting donuts again after a math test. That they were going to drive an hour for a dozen donuts, a box that they’d nearly finish before they got home. The bacon would be salty and the maple butter would be so sweet that it would hurt her teeth.

 

But then the car slowed to a stop outside of his house and she was pushed out of her reverie.

 

“What do you have in your fridge?” Allie asked suddenly, her eyes widening and a small smile beginning to grow on her face.

 

He stepped out of the car and she followed. “Food.”

 

She rolled her eyes. “Obviously. But, like, do you have bacon?”

 

“Probably,” he said confused, but not enough to bother asking any questions. He walked up the front path to the door and she trailed behind him.

 

She grinned and grabbed his arm to pull him back towards her. “Give me the car keys and start frying the bacon.”

 

His eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. “Where are you going?” he asked, but still willingly handed over the car keys.

 

“It’s a surprise! Just don’t burn the bacon, okay?”

 

She ran over to his car, opening the driver’s side and putting the key in the ignition. She had an idea, and she couldn’t help but tell herself that she’d be stupid if she didn’t act on it.

 

Allie drove fast, maybe not as fast as Harry, but still fast. She was normally a cautious driver, much like her sister, but things change when your whole world gets turned upside down.

 

(And there was no one on the road to get in her way.)

 

The donut shop on the corner of Main and 1st Street looked untouched by others. She guessed that most people were at the bigger grocery stores.

 

She hopped out of the car, a jump in her step that she loved having, and ran towards the shop. The door was unlocked, and already, through the window, she could see a tray of maple bars in a display case.

 

She grabbed the entire tray, placing the bars into boxes and then putting the boxes in the back seat of his car before running inside for the rest. _No one else is going to want stale donuts_ she decided, picking and choosing donuts and putting them in boxes.

 

Allie drove slower on the way home, more like how she’d been before, continually glancing back towards the donuts, checking that they were safe.

 

She texted him when she got to his house to come outside to the car, and he was out of the house seconds after she hit send.

 

“This better be quick, Allie, I’ve got bacon on the stove,” he joked as he walked out the door, his eyes widening when he saw the boxes piled in the back.

 

“We’re making bacon maple bars,” she explained, grinning widely at him.

 

He grinned back. “You head inside and make sure the bacon doesn’t burn and I’ll grab,” he gestured towards the boxes of donuts, “these.”

 

The first thing that hit her when she stepped inside was the smell of bacon. Allie loved it -- bacon always was her favorite. She didn’t eat it much when she was younger; her family always ate healthier for Cassandra. Bacon was always seen as a special treat.

 

She wasn’t exactly sure what to do in regards to cooking the bacon. There was a pair of tongs on a plate next to the stove that she assumed was meant to help her flip the pieces.

 

“Do I need to flip these?” she asked, grabbing the tongs and clicking them a few times.

 

Harry walked inside, the boxes of donuts piled high in front of him, “Sure. I mean, that's what the cookbook said to do,” he said, putting the boxes on the counter and searching for the box with the maple bars.

 

Allie marvelled for a second at the fact that he’d taken a cookbook down to look up how to make bacon, but then the oil in the pan bubbled and she jumped back, letting out a little squeak.

 

Harry laughed. “Need some help, Pressman?”

 

“Yes please.”

 

Harry finished making the bacon and she found the box with the maple bars, taking out a few and putting them on a plate. He placed the bacon slices on top and she immediately grabbed one.

 

“Cheers,” she said, holding her maple bar out in front of her and he tapped his own against it before taking a bite.

 

“Mmmm, this is good,” Harry said.

 

She grinned and took her own bite, a way too large one that was a little hard to chew but totally worth it. “Kinda stale.”

 

“But totally delicious.”

  


/

  


They got a text, right as the sun finished setting, from Helena telling them to meet at the church.

 

Harry didn’t drive anywhere near as fast. They were both still a little out of it from their sugar highs and then subsequent crashes. They'd fallen asleep on the couch shortly after both eating three maple bars a piece.

 

Allie had brought up the idea of bringing some of the extra donuts to the meeting but Harry had made an argument against that easily, calling the donuts stale and saying that no one but two of them wanted them. Allie knew that he really just wanted them all to himself.

 

It was packed when they got to the church and very quickly the gathering became a sort of town meeting.

 

And somehow Allie found herself standing up against her sister, saying that sharing houses was stupid, that "everything was going to go to hell anyway so why should we have to spend our last days in sleeping bags or on couches?". It wasn't a good idea for that much change. No one's happy to have to share when everything else has been taken away.

 

Harry didn't say anything. He was uncharacteristically silent. Allie kept waiting for him to stand up, ignore her request for peace and yell at Cassandra. It never happened, though, and she was grateful.

 

Then Campbell came into the church and suddenly any hard feelings held against her sister disappeared. _They needed her_.

 

Harry tried to pull Allie down when the first shot echoed through the church, succeeding at first as he attempted to shield her with his body, but ultimately failing when Cassandra moved from behind the pew. Allie broke away from him, rushing forward to protect her sister. She'd decided a long time ago that Cassandra's life was more valuable than her own, and even in this strange new world, those words held true.

 

Harry followed behind her, a hand on her arm trying at first to pull her back but then moving to stand in front of Allie. He shook his head slightly at Campbell, his arms held behind him as he kept his hold on Allie.

 

But Cassandra moved in front of both of them, pushing them away and giving a little speech on death. Harry pulled Allie back from getting in front of Cassandra again, holding her tight. He was shaking and she was so, so scared. This wasn't how it was supposed to go.

 

Campbell laughed at all of them, putting the gun down and shaking his head as if to say _you're all fucking idiots_. No one followed him when he made his call for action. No one even moved.

  


/

 

The scariest part to her was how different everything was. Nothing made much sense anymore. She'd openly opposed her sister in a place where agreement was everything. Harry Bingham was at her house, in her bed because he "didn't want to he alone." Her cousin had shot a gun inside a church, and a search party had returned with a dead girl, a girl she had known, a girl she had been partners with in Bio.

 

People scattered pretty quickly after the search party returned. Most went in groups of three or four, sharing houses with friends. Cassandra didn't need to tell them to share, they were doing it already; having sleep overs that would some day turn into a permanent residence. Allie even could've swore she saw Will with Kelly. She remembered that his house was outside of town lines and for a moment she wondered where he was staying now.

 

But the she also remembered that him and Kelly had looked happy, brushing shoulders as they walked, and suddenly she wasn't anywhere near as worried as before. He had someone; he would be fine.

 

Allie’s bed was too small for the both her and Harry. She lay with her head against his chest, his heartbeat loud but comforting in her ear. She thought that it'd be more awkward, lying so close to him, but a part of her was already sort of used to it. She liked the arm around her and the steady beating in her ear.

 

"Thanks for not arguing with Cassandra at the meeting," she said, closing her eyes and breathing deeply.

 

"Thanks for arguing with her for me."

 

"I get why she wanted to do it; that part's smart, actually, but I think it's too much change all at once for people. I mean, how would I feel if suddenly I had to share my home with a whole bunch of people who I barely know. Plus, people already don't like Cassandra, putting a bunch of people who hate her in a house together isn't a good idea."

 

Allie felt his chest move up and down a little as he laughed, and she smiled.

 

Different was scary and weird, but sometimes also really amazing. Allie couldn't help but wonder if she maybe liked different.

  


/

  


She was with Harry when he came up with the idea for a game of fugitive. She liked it, thought it sounded fun, like something a bunch of teenagers could do while trying to forget the seriousness of their circumstances.

 

Cassandra thought it was stupid, a waste of time. She said that they should be counting food with Will and Kelly, or doing something else to help the community. Allie ignored her. Recently, all she’d been doing was worrying about their future. She deserved a day off.

 

Saying Harry was excited for Fugitive would’ve been an understatement. He made sure that just about everyone in town knew about it. Allie was excited about it to, though. Harry had a fast car and she liked fast cars.

 

It was adrenaline and excitement and pure happiness that got her off the ground when Clark hits her with the cop car. It was the look on Harry’s face after she jumped up, like she was everything, and how she felt when she got back in his car. It felt normal and real and she loved it.

 

They drove back to his house when it was all over for the after party. She’d still set out coasters on the tables and cabinets, and poured bags of chips into bowls, and locked the upstairs bedrooms. And Harry still made the mixed drinks.

 

She had fun. Lot’s of fun. It was nice to let loose, to do something other than worry.

 

“How are you doing?” Harry asked, holding out a drink to Allie that she took gratefully.

 

“After getting hit by a car? Pretty okay, actually. Mostly upset that someone let Clark drive, but you wouldn’t let me.”

 

Harry let out a laugh, “That’s because you drive like a grandma,” he said and she elbowed him in the side.

 

“Shut up,” but she was laughing too, “I’m also pretty glad that we were able to pawn off the rest of the donuts. I was getting sick of eating stale donuts for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”

 

Harry rolled her eyes, “You made the decision to eat that many donuts.”

 

“You don’t decide to eat donuts, it just kind of happens. You know that.”

 

He smiled at her, and, per usual, she smiled back. There was thunder in the difference, the loud type that makes people look around and look for cover. And that was what they did; Harry pulled her inside like they were running from acid rain, Allie giggling as he did.

 

People were following them inside. The rain was starting to get heavy, and the wind was picking up. It was their first real storm in this world and in no way were they ready for it.

 

She was sitting on the kitchen counter, a bowl of chips in her lap that she was snacking on while laughing at something Harry had said when the power first started to flicker.

 

“Was that…?” She asked and he nodded as the house became quiet.

 

The power switched off as another roar of thunder sounded. Allie gasped, jumping slightly, and Harry placed a hand around her wrist.

 

“What happens if it never comes back on?” Someone asked. No one answered.

 

The Guard offered to go get flashlights.

 

“We should stay behind,” Allie said, turning to Harry before gesturing around the house, “Clean up a little maybe.”

 

He nodded, “Sure. I’ll look for flashlights in the garage.”

 

People started to peter out, some picking up as they left, other leaving more of a mess. The Guard never returned with the flashlights or news.

 

“You think everything’s okay?” She asked.

 

Harry shrugged, “Probably. What’s the worst that could happen down there? I bet they just found the flashlights and went home.”

 

Part way through sweeping up a bowl of chips that had been knocked over, Allies phone chimed. It was Kelly and she’d sent a picture of their downtown in flames.

 

At first, she didn’t believe it. She didn’t want to. This scared her more than anything, to see that her peers were capable of that. Her and Harry drove down there to see it for themselves, part of both of them not entirely believing it.

 

She almost didn’t want to tell Cassandra. Part of her didn’t want her sister to see what people were capable of. Part of her wanted this sort of in between to last forever because the future didn’t look bright and was happy.

 

But, in the end, it was fear that drove her to Cassandra. Fear that the chaos was all that it would ever be.

 

They needed her sister.

  


/

  


Cassandra gathering all of the girls together in the church was the first step towards a real society rather than whatever they had before.  

 

“Guys are stupid sometimes, huh.” Cassandra said as they all stood up to leave the church.

 

Allie nodded absent mindedly, thinking back to the night before when Harry had stayed up and played Minecraft with her because she couldn’t sleep.

 

“You and Harry, aren’t… like-- I mean, it’s not bad if you are, I was just wondering.”

 

Allie laughed as though the idea of her and Harry was much crazier than it actually was, “Nope. We’re just friends.”

 

“Okay. Cool. It’s fine if you are, though. Don’t think that just because Harry and I don’t have the best of relationships doesn’t mean you two can’t be together.”

 

Allie smiled, “Okay.” It brought her back to Kelly’s words in the church on their first night. Her and Harry really were just friends. They were friends who slept next to each other at night and held hands when they were scared. Friends who couldn’t handle being without the other sometimes, who needed to not be alone.

 

But Cassandra’s words make her think about it all all over again.

 

She was still thinking about it when the town meeting rolled around. The church was full, barely any seats left when Allie arrived with Harry.

 

“We need to take note of what we have, so there’ll be an accounting of resources. Once we get a handle on that, we’ll begin to ration food, eating meals communally in the cafeteria.” She spoke like someone who knew what they were doing. She was practically made to be their leader.

 

“I’m not about to force you to share houses, but I highly recommend it,” she continued, “Just in water and electricity are in limited supply. Maybe just try to live with at least one or two other people.” She ended the speech with talk about work schedules, something Allie was not excited about, and the formation of the committee for getting home.

 

Cassandra called for a vote at the end, and Allie was one of the first to raise her hand, prompting Harry to do the same. Everyone voted yes, some with more hesitation than others.

 

“You want to live with me?” Harry asked, turning to her as they walked back to his house.

 

“Trying to reach that two person quota?” She joked.

 

“I’m taking that as a yes.”

 

She told Cassandra later that same day over a dinner of leftover spaghetti.

 

“I’m moving in with Harry.”

 

For a second, she looked like she was going to say something, like she was about to advise against it, give Allie a list of reasons why that was a bad idea. She doesn’t, though. Per usual, Cassandra was calm, cool, and collected. She took the news as if it was nothing.

 

“Okay. Need any help moving stuff over?”

 

“That’d be great, actually. Tonight maybe, after dinner.”

 

Cassandra's eyes widened, “Tonight?” she repeated and Allie nodded, “Isn’t that a little soon?”

 

Allie shrugged, “I mean, I was going to go back over there tonight anyways. Might as well just take some stuff with me. It’ll be fine.”

 

Cassandra took a deep breath, glancing once at Gordie, who, Allie had just realised, always seemed to be with Cassandra, before nodding, “Okay. I’ll help you move tonight.”

 

Allie offered her sister a grateful smile, “Thanks. And it’s not like I’m leaving forever. I’ll be just down the street. If I yelled loud enough you could probably hear.”

 

“I’ll miss you, that’s all.”

 

“I’ll miss you too.”

 

After dinner, they threw her clothes into packing boxes they found in the garage. It didn’t take long with Allie only grabbing what she was sure she’d wear, and neither of them said a word until the last of the clothing was packed up.

 

“How are you? Like, you’re heart, I mean?” Allie asked. She'd felt bad, for not asking sooner, for not remembering her sister when she should’ve.

 

“Fine. Gordie saw me at the pharmacy and offered to take care of me which was nice.”

 

Allie smiled, “I think he likes you.”

 

“Yeah, I do to. Don’t know what I’ll do if he does. I’m not sure if I’m ready for something like that.”

 

“Just let it happen. He’s really nice, and he obviously cares about you.”

 

Harry met them at the halfway point between their houses, taking boxes from Cassandra. It was almost like the end of an era for Allie, the end of her going home to a house that felt wrong and pretending like everything wasn’t different. She wasn’t sure how she felt about it.

  


/

  


The work schedules made everything feel just a little more real. Like they’d created a society that could maybe just work.

 

At first, the work schedules put Allie in the kitchen, but she burned just about everything that was put in front of her, sometimes burning dishes that she wasn’t even assigned to work on, so it wasn’t all that long before she was put in the front to serve food with Harry.

 

“So, which one should I take, the refried beans or the spanish rice?” She asked, slipping on her hairnet and grabbing a spoon.

 

Harry grinned at her, “Only professionals get to scoop the beans. They take a practiced flip. The newbies have to take the rice.”

 

“Are you trying to say I’m not a professional?”

 

“Yes.”

 

She can’t imagine that serving food would’ve been any fun if it wasn’t for Harry. They interacted with one another with a well practiced ease, and, though she was pretty sure this this was the work of Cassandra, they conveniently started and ended work at the same time, so they got to walk to and from the cafeteria together.

 

Some nights, he’d grab her hand and they would swing their clasped hands between them. Other nights, they’d walk home brushing shoulders and laughing at the weirdest things they’d heard that day. That became a competition between the two of them, trying to hear the weirdest, funniest things their peers said.

 

“Clark asked if pineapples grew on trees today,” Allie said, bumping her shoulder against Harry’s as they walked.

 

“Clark shouldn’t count. He always says the stupidest things.”

 

“Doesn’t matter. I win.”

 

Harry rolled his eyes, “It’s not like you win anything.”

 

Allie made a face at him, “You’re just upset cause you’ve only won once.”

 

Harry ignored her comment and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her close. “You’re lucky you’re cute, Pressman.”

 

“Ditto.”

 

She almost liked the work. It helped to create this idea of a new normal, one where she lived with Harry Bingham and did their laundry on Sundays while he vacuumed. One where she scooped food every other day and didn’t hate it.

 

She missed her old normal, but, weirdly, she didn’t mind this new one.

  


/

  


It wasn’t a question who she’d go to prom with.

 

He still asked her, making a big sign with the word "prom" spelled out in all caps. Shed gone over to Cassandra's for dinner one night and when she came back, there it was.

 

"Nah. I'm good," she joked, shaking her head but grinning as she did so.

 

He laughed, "Wait one second, you think this is for you? I'm actually having Clark over later, so…"

 

She laughed too, stepping closer to him so she could wrap her arms around him. "I'd love to go to prom with you."

 

"Good cause I wasn't sure if Clark would say yes."

 

On the day of prom, she got ready with Harry. He zipped her dress up for her and they figured out how to tie a bow tie together. It was all weirdly domestic, and she didn't hate it.

 

“You look really pretty,” he commented, pushing a strand of her hair behind her ear and smiling down at her.

 

“You look okay, I guess.”

 

He pushed her away from him gently, making a face at her that she happily returned, “Shut up. I look amazing.”

 

They drove to Prom, using up a little of the gas they were trying to save. Part of Allie wanted to complain about the wind in her hair when it had taken so long to do, but another, much larger part of her, missed riding in his car. It didn’t seem like a luxury at the beginning, but now gas was starting to run out as it became even harder for people to ignore their situation.

 

When they got there, he took a picture of her with Cassandra, even going so far as to tell her sister that she looked nice. He was in a good mood. He seemed excited to be there.

 

“Dance with me,” he said, pulling her by the wrist towards the dance floor.

 

She grinned, “Just a warning, I’m not great at dancing.”

 

Harry rolled his eyes and lifted her arm up to twirl her, “No one’s really good at dancing at these things.”

 

They stayed on the dance floor even when the first slow song of the night came on. Harry reached for her hand and Allie gave it to him, smiling slightly as he placed his other hand on her waist.

 

“Sorry if I step on your feet,” she whispered as they swayed to the song.

 

“Are you really, though?”

 

Allie grinned, “No, not really.”

 

And she wasn’t sure what exactly ran through his mind, but all of the sudden he was pulling her closer, his voice barely above a whisper as he asked, “Can I kiss you?”

 

There was a moment when she wondered if this was for the best, if she was about to ruin their relationship. But somehow, there wasn’t a single part of her that didn’t want this, that didn’t think that this was a step that should be taken.

 

So she said yes. And she regretted nothing.

  


/

  


It was the doorbell that woke them up.

 

“It’s seven in the fucking morning. Who is that?” Harry grumbled, nuzzling his head against Allie’s neck and tickling her chin with the top of his hair.

 

“Probably some member of your fan club,” Allie said, closing her eyes and trying to will herself back to sleep.

 

“Or yours,” he suggested. “And you know what they say, ‘your fanclub, your problem'.”

 

The doorbell rang again and they both groaned.

 

“Get the door, Harry.”

 

“You get it Pressman. It’s probably your sister anyway.”

 

Allie pushed him away from her and began unraveling herself from him, “You better make me pancakes for breakfast. And not burnt ones this time.”

 

“It happened once,” he whined burrowing his face into her pillow, and she smiled.

 

Allie slipped out of bed, reaching for one of Harry’s discarded sweater lying on a chair and pulling it on. “I’ll be right back.”

 

“Scream if you need me.”

 

She walked down the hall. The floor was cold and the sun was just beginning to rise, bringing light into the house. She could already see Grizz through the window next to the door, something that should have worried her more than it did.

 

Allie pulled open the door and could immediately tell that whatever had happened wasn’t good. Gordie stood, surrounded by the Guard. Everyone looked shaken up, and she had the sudden urge to call for Harry, as if his presence would somehow prevent any bad news from being shared.

 

“Allie, I’m so sorry,” Gordie said, eyes rimmed with red. He was shaking.

 

“What?” She asked, but part of her already knew what had happened before anyone had to say anything.

 

Cassandra was dead.

  
  
  



	2. after

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allie wished that she didn’t have to be part of all of this. She wished that the spotlight wasn’t so bright, or better yet, that she could be off to the side, watching the show from the edge. She wasn’t meant for this. 
> 
> /
> 
> _or pt two_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi! welcome to pt 2!  
> so, as it turns out, i struggle to write angst, and guess what this pt kinda needed to be... a little angsty. my struggle is shown throughout pt 2, but i hope that you can love it regardless.  
> the love for pt 1 was so amazing! ive never had people messaging me about when id be posting again which was so cool and very motivational! it's been so amazing to read the comments and just see what people thought, so thank you for that!  
> once more, this was beta'd by the wonderful [buckebarns](https://buckebarns.tumblr.com) / [wolfchester](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfchester/pseuds/wolfchester) you can thank her for this fic making even a little sense  
> also, song lyrics and title once more from the lorde song 'world alone'  
> hope you enjoy!

 

 

At first, the news of Cassandra’s death put her into a sort of shock. She found out about it. She shut the door. And then she went back to bed, slipping under the covers and laying next to Harry. 

 

“Who was it?” he asked, turning over onto his side so that he could face her. 

 

“Gordie.” Her voice was shaky. She wasn’t sure if she’d fully processed the news that had been brought to her.

 

“What’d he want?” 

 

She paused, all at once realizing exactly what had happened, what she had been told. It hit her all at once, full force. Her eyes filled with tears and she thought that Harry probably knew what she was going to say before she'd even begun to say it. 

 

“No,” he whispered, shaking his head. 

 

Her upper lip quivered and suddenly it was hard to breath. “She’s dead, Harry.” 

 

Allie burst into sobs, loud ones that no one would ever bother to silence. Harry sat up, moving closer before wrapping his arms around her. He was shaking, a full body shake, on the edge of some sort of nervous breakdown. She was pretty sure he was crying, too. 

 

They cried and struggled to breath, and laid in bed all day, passing out at some point before waking up around eight. 

 

“You want something to eat?” Harry asked, moving to get out of bed. 

 

She shook her head, but moved to get up with him. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to be alone.

 

“You getting up, too?”

 

She nodded. “I want some tea.” 

 

They walked down the hall together, switching on lights and never letting the other stray too far. Allie noticed that Harry liked to always be pressed up against her, almost as if to remind him that she was still there. That she wasn’t gone.

 

_ Cassandra was gone _ . 

 

That fact seemed to hit her in waves, washing over her with varying degrees of intensity. It didn’t feel entirely real. She wasn’t sure if it would ever feel real, if it’d ever become a truth that she’d learn to live with.

 

“I’m making pasta,” Harry said, moving to grab a pot out of a cabinet. “You sure you don’t want some?” 

 

“I’ll have a little.” Her voice was hoarse from crying. Her throat and eyes hurt, and she couldn’t help feeling that the kettle wasn’t heating up fast enough.

 

“Go sit on the couch,” Harry told her. “I can make your tea.” 

 

She complied, grabbing a throw blanket and wrapping it around herself before closing her eyes. She couldn't sleep anymore. She wasn’t tired, but somehow, already, she needed a break. The world felt like too much. It didn’t feel right.  

 

“Earl grey?” He asked from the counter and she thinks that she mustered out a yes. She could hear him pulling out a jar of honey from a cabinet and mixing in what she hoped was just the right amount. Things felt different when she had her eyes closed, like she was in some new world. A world where bad things never happened.

 

He brought the tea over to her, putting it down on a coaster on the coffee table and pressing a kiss to her forehead. She thought for a second that he was going to say something, but he remained silent, returning to the kitchen to add pasta to the pot of boiling water.

 

It was silent while he cooked. She wasn’t really used to silence when she was with Harry, at least not silence like this. Harry was loud, and bright and colorful. He always had something to say, a joke to tell. When it was silent with him, it always felt like there was a reason. This silence felt wrong.

 

If anything, she felt like the silence was her fault. She felt like he was afraid to say anything, or that maybe he just didn’t have anything to say. Allie wasn’t used to it. She didn’t think she liked it. 

When he finished the pasta, he brought two plates over to the couch. She opened her eyes and sat up when he did, offering him what she hoped was a smile. She was really trying to smile.

 

There was more silence.

 

“You don’t have to pretend to be sad that she’s gone.” Allie said, taking a deep breath in and letting a shaky one out.

 

“I’m not pretending.” His voice was barely above a whisper, so full of sadness that she immediately felt bad for her words. But, at the same time, it wasn't  _ his _ sister who'd just been murdered. 

 

And him and Cassansdra hadn't exactly been close. They'd hated each other, self proclaimed rivals. It wasn't fair that she was gone and people got to sit there and pretend like they actually knew her.

 

“I know you didn’t like--” 

 

“It doesn’t matter whether or not I liked her, Allie,” He interrupted, his words almost harsh. “It’s still fucked up and sad that she’s gone.” 

 

Allie was silent, staring down at her plate. She could've sworn that she saw a tear fall down his face. Part of her broke. For second, she'd forgotten that Cassandra was more than just her sister.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said.

 

She looked up at him, eyes wide and full of tears. “I don’t think I know what to do without her.”

 

“I don’t think I know either.” 

 

She took a deep breath. “We weren’t even all that close anymore,” Allie whispered. She wished she could go back in time and tell her sister that she loved her, that this new world hadn’t changed that. “We were drifting apart. I was letting us drift apart.” 

 

She stared at Harry. He opened his mouth and then closed it again. She wondered what he was going to say, if he was going to tell her it was his fault that her and Cassandra had drifted, or try to relate the situation somehow to his father. She wasn’t exactly sure how she’d respond to anything he had say.

 

This time, she was almost glad for the silence. 

 

Allie didn't eat the pasta. She picked at it for a second longer before putting it on the table next to her still steaming cup of tea. And even though she felt like she had no one on her side, she still scooted closer to him, resting her head in his lap and closing her eyes again. 

 

This time, she fell asleep.

 

When she woke up, it was two in the morning. Harry was still there, eyes closed and breathing steady as he sat on the couch. She sat up which must have awoken him.

 

“Go back to sleep,” she whispered, moving to take a sip of her now very cold tea. 

 

“You okay?” he asked, stretching his arms out and yawning.

 

“I’m fine.”

 

He thought for a second about what he was going to say next, and she very much wanted to tell him to spit it out. The whole ‘quiet’ thing was getting old really quickly. “Gordie texted me while you were asleep. He wants you to speak at the funeral.”

 

Allie blinked. For a second, a very long second, she’d forgotten about the funeral. She’d forgotten that that was the next step. 

 

“I mean…” she began, not entirely sure how she was going to answer. She wasn’t sure what she could say that someone else couldn’t. Why did she have to go through the loss and then come up with something sweet and clever and heartwarming to say? If anything, it would just be another chance for people to compare her to her sister, for people to say that it should've been Allie who died.

 

“You don’t have to,” Harry said quickly. “I can text Gordie back and tell him that you don’t want to.”

 

She surprised herself when she said, “I want to. I have to say something.” It was almost as if she couldn't say no. Like it was wrong and horrible and messed up to choose her own peace over the memory of her sister. 

 

"You really don't have to," he repeated, softer this time, and she shook her head.

 

"Yeah, I do." 

 

The funeral was set to be the next day. Allie and Harry tried to write a eulogy. It turned into a mess of words that she wasn’t sure made much sense to anyone but them, but it was something.

 

Walking up to the church, she could see the hole the Guard dug for her sister’s body.

 

She didn’t remember much from the funeral besides that the remarks her and Harry prepared almost immediately went down the drain when she saw her peers. She remembered shouting something about how they needed Cassandra, asking why someone would do something like killing her. She also remembered crying, breaking down, and Harry rushing up to the front to hold her. 

 

At the end, Gordie came up to her, wringing his hands as he said, “We’re gonna find the killer, Allie.” 

 

“Okay.” She replied, nodding her head curtly and turning around. She almost didn’t want them to find the killer. Finding the killer made it all the more real. Someone was out there with a reason to want her sister dead, and she wasn’t really sure if she wanted to know that reason. Everything not making sense was somehow better, at least right now, than everything making sense. 

 

Then her and Harry went home. She got changed into comfier clothing and laid down in bed. She was pretty sure Harry did the same. Cassandra’s death seemed to have hit him almost as hard as it hit her. That’s what happened, she guessed, when someone is that big of a figure in your life. 

 

The shadow was gone, and Allie didn’t think either of them knew what to do.

  
  


/

  
  


It was a week before anyone came to their house. Harry still went to work, mostly while she slept. 

 

“You don’t have to go,” she said, her face almost entirely blocked from the too bright sunlight by a pillow.

 

“People are starting to not show up. They need all the help they can get. Plus, Will keeps texting me to show up and I can’t figure out how to block him.”

 

She moved to get up. “Well then maybe I should go too.”

 

Harry nudged her back down onto the bed, “Stay here. Maybe make that chocolate cake again. I’ll try to see if I can find more Annie’s mac n cheese for you.” 

 

“Thanks.” 

 

It was nice of him to not force her out. She wasn’t sure if she was ready for the world yet. It was loud, and unforgiving and scary. She had a hard enough time letting Harry leave, let alone leaving the house herself.

 

Harry was home when everyone showed up. It was ten in the morning and they were both wrapped up in a fuzzy blanket even though it was beginning to get warm outside.

 

“I’ll get it,” Harry said and she smiled her thanks. He jumped out of bed, and for a second, a half a second, she thought about what she’d do if he never came back, what she’d do if she lost him too.

 

She couldn’t figure it out.

 

He did come back. It took a little while. She could hear his voice mixing with those of others down the hall from the room. She almost wanted to get up and join them. They were talking about her. They were obviously talking about her.

 

Allie didn’t, though. She stayed in bed and wrapped herself up a little tighter.

 

It was fifteen minutes later when he returned. Longer than either of them had thought he’d be gone, but nowhere near an eternity.

 

“What’d they want?” She asked as he sat on the bed next to her.

 

“Someone brought a gun to the cafeteria and I guess there was this freak out there.”

 

“Is that it? Someone shot brought a gun to a public space and it scared people?”

 

Harry opened his mouth and then closed it, choosing his words carefully, "They want you to be the leader, Allie," he said slowly.

 

And suddenly, nothing made sense all over again. She went into shock for a moment. There was silence before she started to shake her head over and over, as if doing so would force Harry’s words to be unsaid,  “No, no, no. I can’t.”

 

He scooted closer to her and she resisted the urge to scoot away. His lips became a thin line and his eyes filled with sympathy as he said, “You’re it. Gordie says that you’re the only one that can do it. Not him, not Luke, or Will, or Kelly. You.”

 

She hated that, that they were out of options. That they even needed a new leader in the first place. It should’ve still been Cassandra. She wished that it was still Cassandra. 

 

“I can’t do it, Harry.” Allie’s voice cracked, her eyes filling with tears. “I’m not Cassandra.”

 

“You’re not Cassandra,” he affirmed, “But we need a leader. And you have their sympathy, that’s what Gordie said. He said that it’s either you or no one. And it’s either now or never.”

 

She took a shaky breath in, letting the tears stream down her face and she looked at Harry. “What if they kill me like they killed-” she paused, gulping down a cry, unable to say her sister’s name, “Like they killed her.”

 

Her shook his head, “I won’t ever, ever let that happen. I promise.” He said the words slowly, looking her straight in the eye. She trusted him. She wasn’t sure if there was a way not to trust him. He was sort of her everything right now. The one person she was certain she could count on

 

They still sat there for a moment. Allie was trying to take in the weight of what he was asking. Her as leader. If anything, it made Cassandra’s death all the more real. She couldn’t avoid it anymore and she hated that.

 

“You have to be their with me every step of the way if doing this. You have to be co-leader. I need you.” She offered it as an ultimatum, either they did it together or she didn’t do it all.

 

He didn’t even sort of hesitate. “Okay.”

 

“We can’t go back from this. You know that, right?” 

 

Harry nodded. “We have to do this Allie.” 

 

She stared at him, opening her mouth to breath because her nose was getting too stuffed. It was getting hard to think straight. She wanted her sister. She  _ needed _ her sister. “I’m so scared Harry.”

 

“Me too.”

 

But that was that. They were leaders now. There was no going back.

  
  


/

  
  


It surprised her how quickly people accepted the new leadership. People accepted everything they threw at them easily, and Allie couldn’t help but wonder if they were all as closed off to everything as she was.

 

She was thankful for Harry. He actually had some sort of idea as to what he was doing.  He spoke with authority. People respected him more than they respected her. She was leader because of sympathy. He was leader was because he deserved it.

 

“You okay after all of that?” He asked grabbing her hand as they went to walk home. 

 

“Yeah. I’m good.”

 

He swung their clasped hands between them as they walked. They lived close by, no more than ten minutes away. 

 

“I think I might miss serving food a little. I was just getting good at it.”

 

“Yeah?” she said, letting out a little snort. 

 

He grinned. “Yeah.”

 

She missed it being casual like this. She missed not feeling like she was constantly on the edge. She missed the normality of everything.

 

“You don’t mind beans and rice for dinner, right?” Harry confirmed as he moved to unlock the front door.

 

“Nope.”

 

Allie couldn’t pinpoint the exact moment in which Harry became the one who cooked the meals. She couldn’t even really remember when it started. He was good at it, though, good at cooking. He seemed to like it too. It made sense; chemistry and cooking were weirdly alike.

 

“You need any help?” 

 

He looked around the kitchen before pointing to a can of beans. “You can open that and start heating it up, if you want.”

 

“Okay.” 

 

She liked how domestic it felt to be cooking in the kitchen with him. She liked it when they bumped into each other and she liked it even more when he pressed kisses to her cheek before moving to stir something. 

 

They were different people than when they first stepped off of those busses. It’d only been a month, but they were different nonetheless. They knew how to cook, and clean, and mostly take care of themselves. But, no matter how much they changed, she doubted she’d ever stop missing her family. She missed her mom’s Saturday morning pancakes and the foriegn films her dad would chose for movie nights. And she missed Cassandra, maybe most of all. 

 

Somedays, she’d wake up and it’d all feel like too much. She’d lay in bed on her side, staring out the window. Harry would bring her tea and press a kiss to her forehead, and somehow that alone would make it a little better. He got those days too. When it was him, she’d lay next to him, the big spoon, and he’d curl up. They’d spend those mornings in bed, laying there until it was absolutely necessary to get up.

 

Weirdly, some part of her wondered if she liked this new world, if only just a little. Some part of her asked if it was really all that bad. 

 

And, per usual, she didn’t have an answer. 

  
  


/

  
  


Part of her had almost forgotten that they had a killer on the loose until Gordie told her that they’d been caught.

 

“It was some guy named Dewey,” she told Harry, pulling the phone away from her ear and hanging up. “That’s who killed Cassandra.” It hadn’t hit her yet, the fact that person who’d taken from her the only family she had left had been caught. She wasn’t sure if she should allow herself to feel anything, scared that somehow her feelings would be wrong.

 

“Oh. Shit,” Harry pulled away from the kitchen counter, moving towards her. “So they caught him, and he confessed and everything?”

 

She shrugged, leaning back on the couch wishing this mess would all be over. She wanted her sister back; she wanted her home back. “I guess? Gordie didn’t really say anything. All he told me was that they caught Cassandra’s killer and that it was Dewey. He sounded pretty sure of himself, though.” 

 

Harry sat down next to her, and she instinctively leaned onto him, “What are we going to do with him?” He asked.

 

“I don’t know.” 

 

And that was when it hit her, as she thought about his future in regards to his actions against her sister. All of the sudden she was shaking and couldn’t stop. The world around her didn’t feel real anymore. She felt like she was floating aimlessly, looking down and watching a boy,  _ a boy _ , point a gun at her sister and pull the trigger.

 

Allie wondered how she could have stopped it. What would have happened if she’d been with Cassandra instead of in Harry’s bed. If it'd be Cassandra making this decision right now instead of Allie.

 

She asked herself what Cassandra would’ve done, she’d been doing that a lot lately, picturing herself as Cassandra before answering the hard questions. It seemed to mostly work. 

 

Somehow, though, the Cassandra in her head didn't have an answer for her own murder.

 

“I think we have to kill him, Allie,” Harry said after a moment, but he sounded just as unsure as she felt. “I mean, what else do we do? We can’t just let him go free. There has to be a punishment for shit like that.”

 

She nodded, “You’re right.”  

 

Sometimes it was easier to let others make the hard decisions.

  
  


/

  
  


Will talked to her for the first time in what felt like forever right before Dewey’s trial. She'd kind of isolated herself, sticking mostly with Harry, and he was busy making sure everyone had food, so they'd drifted naturally. 

 

“Hey,” he said, “Can we talk real quick.”

 

“Ummm,” she turned to Harry. They needed to head inside and get everything started. She wanted to get this whole thing over with as quickly as possible.

 

“I can wait for you inside,” he offered and Allie nodded reluctantly.

 

“Okay, yeah,” she turned her attention back to Will as Harry’s figure retreated into the church. “So do you need something, or…?”

 

Will shook his head quickly, “No, no. I just… we don’t hang out anymore, and I kinda miss you.”

 

She raised her shoulders up into a sort of half shrug. “I don’t really hang out with anyone all that much these days. I’m busy.” 

 

“I know,” Will paused and for a second Allie thought about leaving him and going into the church. She had other things to do rather than listen to him talk about how they didn’t hang out anymore. She had a trial to run and a punishment to decide.

 

“Harry’s not doing anything to you, right?” he asked slowly, thinking his words through a little, but not enough.

 

Her eyebrows furrowed together in obvious confusion, shaking her head once. “No. Harry’s great. He’s amazing. He wouldn’t. I wouldn't let him.”

 

“Okay. Good.” 

 

She nodded, “Great. Now I’m going to go into the church, and I’ll talk to you later, maybe.” 

 

He nodded back at her, and for a second, she remembered why she had such a big crush on him. He knew her, some old version of her, sure, but he did know her at some point. They’d been close. 

 

“And I miss you too sometimes, Will.”

 

She turned around after that, walking into the church and moving to stand next to Harry. 

 

“Everything okay?” he asked and Allie nodded.

 

“A-okay. He just missed being friends, I guess.”

 

“Cool.”

 

A lot of things had changed since they’d entered this strange new world. People had changed. Allie doubted that she’d ever be as close to Will as she’d been before it all. But it didn’t hurt to try.

  
  


/

  
  


In a lot of ways, the trial didn’t surprise her. The verdict didn’t surprise her. Dewey didn’t surprise her. Campbell didn’t surprise her. 

 

What did surprise her, was exactly how much power she had, how people were waiting for a decision from her on the fate of a boy she barely knew.

 

"We're executing him, right?" Harry asked. "That's the sentence?"

 

It took her a second to nod. She doubted herself and her deservingness for the power she'd be given. 

 

"Yeah, that's the sentence." 

 

"Okay." 

 

They walked home in silence for a little while. Neither of them wanted to talk. She was starting to get used to it, the periods of quiet. 

 

They got to the house, Harry reaching into his pocket for the key as he asked, "You wanna play minecraft after dinner?"

 

She snorted. "Only if you don't burn down my house this time." 

 

Harry scoffed at her. "It was an accident, okay." 

 

"Didn't feel like an accident."

 

They played minecraft until the early hours of the morning, Harry stopping at some point to make them popcorn. It was a distraction from the outside world that they both desperately needed. 

 

But, in the end, there was still a decision to announce and an execution to be held. 

 

“We’ve decided that the punishment for killing someone is death,” Harry said. Allie wondered how Harry kept his voice from shaking. 

 

A murmur ran through the crowd. It sounded like some of them couldn’t believe it, as though the trial wasn’t enough for them to come to terms with the situation, but the verdict was. 

 

Allie wished that she didn’t have to be part of all of this. She wished that the spotlight wasn’t so bright, or better yet, that she could be off to the side, watching the show from the edge. She wasn’t meant for this. 

  
  


/

  
  


Allie very quickly discovered that there was a difference between threatening to kill someone and actually doing it. It was in the action, the follow through. It was like how, when she was little she couldn’t jump off of the diving board into the pool. But instead of her legs refusing to move, it was her finger refusing to pull the trigger. And the jump was instead death. 

 

Harry tried to take the gun from her.

 

"I can shoot two," he offered.

 

Alle shook her head, "I need to do this too." 

 

He didn't fight her on it, and after a three count, Allie began to wonder if she was now a murderer.

 

“I never want to do that again,” she whispered into Harry’s chest, turning her head so that she could hear his heartbeat. 

 

“Neither do I.”

 

She was afraid of sleep after the execution. Worried that Dewey’s cries would plague her dreams.

 

Some messed up part of her had thought that somehow Dewey’s death would balance out Casssandra’s, that after it was over everything would feel just a little bit okay. 

 

It didn’t. 

 

In the days after the execution, she felt like absolute shit. She half remembered a frantic Elle coming to there home in the early morning asking her to kill Campbell, but even talk of death made her nauseous so that whole conversation became a quick blur. 

 

But then, one morning, the doorbell rang and when she answered it, there was a basket of breakfast sandwiches on the front porch. 

 

The first day, she was hesitant to eat one, but Harry was still in bed and she was sick of eating burnt toast, so very quickly their appeal and her lack of a better option won. 

 

By the third day, Allie made it her mission to find out who was leaving the food. 

 

“What if it just appears there each morning, and no matter how fast you open the door, you’ll never be able to see anyone?” Harry joked and Allie punched him lightly on the arm.

 

“Shut up. I need to figure this out.”

 

“Well, when you do, thank them for me, yeah? Cause I’m not waking up before eight to solve the mystery of the magic food.”

 

“You’re horrible,” she laughed, rolling her eyes at him.

 

Allie set an alarm for seven the next morning and waited by the door for the mystery person. She wrapped herself up in a blanket and grabbed a book off of the coffee table. Harry had taken to reading Harry Potter out loud with a really bad british accent, and she’d fallen asleep for a chunk of his reading the night before. 

 

The doorbell rang at seven thirty and she immediately jumped up and opened the door. 

 

“Kelly?” she asked, relieved at the fact that she hadn’t been eating some crazy person’s food for the past few days.

 

“Hi?” Kelly waved awkwardly and Allie grinned.

 

“So you’re the one who keeps leaving the food.”

 

Kelly smiled, offering a quick nod as she said, “Yeah.”

 

Allie stepped out the door and onto the porch, the blanket still wrapped around her shoulders even as she hugged Kelly. “Thank you so much. The food was amazing and delicious and… yeah. Thank you,” Allie said, pulling out of the hug slowly. 

 

Kelly’s smile grew. “It was nothing, really. Will just mentioned that you guys hadn’t been taking your rations and then there was the whole Dewey thing, and I just thought that maybe you’d like some food,” she explained. “And I already knew Harry’s favorites, and Will knew your’s, and then one thing kinda lead to another.”

 

“Well thank Will for me, then.”

 

“Okay.” 

 

“You want to come in? I can make tea, or toast, if you don’t mind kinda burnt toast.” 

 

Kelly laughed. “Sure. And tea is fine.”

 

Allie picked the discarded book up off the ground and dropped it on the couch along with her blanket before moving towards the kitchen. “Harry does most of the cooking around her because I kinda burn everything in sight. I’m working on it, but he likes to say that I shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen without supervision.”

 

Kelly laughed again. “You’ll have to come over sometime, then. Will basically taught me everything on how to cook. I was hopeless before all of this.”

 

“Totally. He can give me lessons or something.”

 

They talked on the couch for over an hour. Harry woke up at some point and said that he knew it was Kelly from the start, a statement that Allie quickly refuted. 

 

“You did not. You thought that there was some sort of magic involved and that the food was just appearing there.”

 

“Magic? Sounds like someone’s been reading a little too much Harry Potter.” 

 

Allie grabbed the book and threw it at him. “I can’t even understand it when you read. That’s how bad your accent is.”

 

Harry scoffed, faking hurt. “Take that back,” he demanded. “My accent is amazing.”

 

Kelly’s laughter interrupted their pseudo argument. “You guys are so cute, but I should probably get going,” she said as she stood up.

 

“Okay. Thanks again for the food,” Allie said, waving goodbye as Kelly started towards the door.

 

“Yeah. Thank you so much,” Harry said. “The breakfast sandwiches were amazing.”

 

“It was nothing, really. Allie, it was great talking to you! I’ll text you later about us all hanging out.”

 

“Alright! Bye.”

 

Allie and Harry started to go out more after that. They’d go over to Gordie’s and ask him how everything was going, and try to help Will in the kitchen with varying degrees of success (Allie was only allowed to taste test after she used baking soda instead of salt). Life was, at least sort of, beginning to put itself back together again.

  
  


/

  
  


Somehow, Kelly wasn’t the only one to give them food. People were a little more sympathetic after the Dewey trial. They were less inclined to go to her and complain about the jobs they had to do, instead, more likely to stop her while she was walking home and ask her how she was doing. 

 

She kind of liked it.

 

“Guess what I got,” Allie said excitedly as she rushed into the house, pushing the front door closed behind her with her foot as she held the surprise behind her back.

 

“Bacon?” Harry questioned as he looked up at her from the couch and put down the book he was reading.

 

Allie walked towards him, making sure to stay facing him so that her back remained hidden. “Ugh, I wish. Guess again.”

 

“A new car?”

 

She rolled her eyes. “Where would I have gotten a new car from?”

 

“The new car dealership, obviously.” 

 

“Guess again,” she repeated.

 

“I don’t know. Show me,” he whined, reaching out to grab her arm. 

 

She stepped back from the couch and out of his reach. “You’re absolute shit at this game.”

 

“What is it?” he asked again, jumping off of the couch and starting towards her.

 

“Uh-uh, this is cheating,” she said, walking backwards away from him as she laughed. 

 

He reached for her and she gave up. “Fine. It’s frozen pizza,” she revealed, holding the box out in front of her.

 

Harry gasped dramatically and she let out a giggle. “Where’d you get that?”

 

“Lexie gave it to me while I was walking home. She’s been hoarding it I guess.”

 

“Wait. She just gave it to you?”

 

“Yep.”

 

Harry shook his head. “I call bullshit on that. You obviously bribed her.”

 

“Oh my god,” she laughed. “It’s always bribery with you, isn’t it?”

 

“Yeah, mostly.”

 

“She honestly just gave it to me. She said that she heard me complaining about the lack of frozen pizza and ambushed me with it while I was walking home,” she explained.

 

Harry scrunched up his nose and shook his head some more, “Nope. Don’t believe you.”

 

Allie ignored him, “I thought we could make her a chocolate cake as a sort of thank you.” 

 

“Before or after we eat the pizza?”

 

“After, obviously.”

 

Lexie liked the cake.

 

“You guys really didn’t have to do this,” she told them as she took the cake and ushered them inside. 

 

“It was nothing,” Harry said and Allie nodded in agreement.

 

“Well thank you. I haven’t had cake in forever.”

 

Allie wondered if in another world people were different. If they’d done something right trying to keep people happy, or if people would have always been like that. 

  
  


/

  
  


Allie liked a lot of things about Summer. She liked how the air smelled in the evenings, and she liked the clear nights, and she liked having an excuse to crunch of ice whenever she wanted. 

 

Allie did not, however, enjoy the heat. 

 

She understood that it was an essential part of Summer, that without it, it’d be more like a glorified Spring, but she still hated it. She hated the way it enveloped her, how she couldn’t step outside without sweating, much less walk to and from the house. 

 

So it was her idea to empty and clean Harry’s pool.

 

“Cassandra would’ve hated this idea,” she said as she watched the water drain out. “She would’ve called it a waste.”

 

Harry’s features scrunched up and she wasn’t sure if he was just squinting because of how bright it was, or if he was actually confused. “Isn’t this kind of a waste, though?”

 

She raised her shoulders up into a shrug, “Maybe. But who cares? It’s hot as fuck out here, and if we get this all cleaned up then we can have a pool party.”

 

They cleaned the pool. Allie texted a bunch of people to come over and bring snacks.

 

“So if someone drowns,” Harry started, looking through his closet for swim trunks, “Is it our fault?”

 

Allie blinked. “Why would it our fault? I mean, unless you pushed them in, and then held them underwater, which I hope you don’t do, because that would be a little messed up.” 

 

“But, like let’s say I do,” he joked and Allie rolled her eyes.

 

“If you’re going to be a liability, then I’m going to have to ask you to stay inside.”

 

Harry gasped dramatically. “You wouldn’t. It’s my pool!”

 

“Uh-uh. It’s our pool. It became our pool when you couldn’t figure out PH balance,” Allie said.

 

“It’s not my fault you’re a nerd who knows how to do that stuff.”

 

“I was a lifeguard!”

 

People began to arrive at their house in hoards, most bringing with them some sort of snack food and a beach towel. 

 

“Close the back door behind you if you go inside,” Harry shouted, directing most of it towards Clark, who, Allie noted, kept leaving the door open. Someone grumbled about how Harry was a killjoy, and Harry shouted again, “I’ve got a house to keep cool,  _ Jason _ .”

 

Allie laughed. The whole party was going great. No one had drowned. No one was fighting. People seemed happy. She thought that maybe next time she could pressure Harry into barbequing. 

 

This is what everyone needed, something to bring them all together, get them to talk in a non-work setting. Allie made plans to host several more of these parties.

 

“Any time the weather is over ninety, our pool is open,” Allie announced, turning to Harry who nodded. 

 

“Just bring snacks,” he added.

 

The pool parties were a success, and slowly morphed into other things like book clubs and photography classes, other groups for little niches. Curfew was eliminated with the condition that it would be brought back if anything bad happened, and the Guard’s role was slowly decreased.

 

People were happy.

 

/

  
  


The calendar flipped to November with it’s cold breezes and promises of first snow. She liked it. November was calm and peaceful and normal. And, maybe best of all, it contained Thanksgiving.

 

To say that Allie was excited for Thanksgiving would’ve been an understatement. 

 

“The best part of dinner is obviously the cranberry sauce,” she said, looking through a cookbook for a recipe. Her mom had always made the cranberry sauce, and Allie couldn’t remember exactly how she made it. 

 

“What are you on because the turkey is obviously the best part.” Allie shook her head, prompting Harry to continue. “When you think of Thanksgiving what do you think of first, turkey or cranberry sauce?”

 

She pulled her gaze away from the cookbook, scrunching her nose up as she said, “Cranberry sauce because that’s what saves the turkey when it’s too fucking dry.”

 

“Bingham turkeys are never dry.”

 

“Clark and Jason told me that they were going to deep fry a turkey. You sure you can beat that?”

 

Harry paused, thinking for a moment. “Nope,” he finally answered, and she let out a loud laugh. “Fun fact,” he continued. “Bingham turkeys are usually raw, and that’s why they’re not dry.”

 

Allie snorted. “Interesting fun fact.”

 

He grinned at her, walking over to where she stood behind the kitchen counter and wrapping his arms around her from behind. “You’ll just have to make cranberry sauce for us. That can be out Thanksgiving feast.”

 

She laughed, letting out a content sigh as she leaned back into his arms. She wished that it would be like this forever. She missed the old quiet of her day to day life.

 

“Or we could do a town thing,” Allie suggested, breaking the quiet. She turned around in his arms to face him. “Have everyone bring a dish. It’d be like lunch in the cafeteria, but with Thanksgiving food. And happier, hopefully.”

 

“Yeah. That’s a good idea.”

 

She smiled up at him. “Well one off use has to have good ideas,” she said before pressing her lips to his. 

 

It didn’t take much to convince people on a large Thanksgiving dinner.

 

“You don’t have to go, but we’ll have turkey and people can bring different dishes and desserts if they want to,” Allie said at the next town meeting.

 

“It’ll be lots of fun,” Harry added.

 

People seemed excited about the prospect of a large dinner. There was discussion about who’d bring what, Allie shouting that she could handle the cranberry sauce.

 

“You’re going to find a way to burn it,” Harry told her as they walked home.

 

“Don’t jinx me,” she whined. 

 

“Did Gordie tell you about what he wants to announce at dinner?” Harry asked. 

 

“About the parallel universe theory?” he nodded. “Yeah, he told me. I think that we should announce it after the football game.” 

 

“That sounds good.”

 

“And what do you think about the name New Ham?” she asked.

 

“For the town?”

 

“Yeah. I was just thinking that, you know, if Gordie is right, we’re in this new world, we’re the first ones here. We deserve a new name.”

 

Harry grinned. “Look at you Pressman, always with the good ideas.”

 

She shrugged. “What can I say, I’m just that good.”

 

They half watched the flag football game, alternating between it and helping get everything set up in the cafeteria. 

 

“You guys are really into leaves,” Harry commented.

 

“Stop trying to ruin Thanksgiving,” Allie called out to him from the opposite side of the cafeteria. 

 

“I’m just saying.”

 

They gave a speech together after the flag football game. Allie announced the new town name and Harry told them all that their families were out there somewhere. It was hopeful and inspiring, and people seemed excited for the future. 

 

“I brought frozen pizza,” Lexie whispered to Allie as they were walking in. “It’s in the corner by the green beans. Just thought I’d let you know because there is definitely not enough for more than like twenty people.”

 

Allie grinned. “Thanks for telling me. There also may or may not be a chocolate cake on the dessert table.”

 

Lexie grinned back.

 

Allie moved to catch up with Harry. “Wanna grab me a plate and I’ll save us seats?”

 

“Only if you don’t make me sit by that Mikey kid. He keeps asking me if I want to try his lemon bars. I don’t even know what that means.”

 

She laughed. “It probably means that he wants you to try his lemon bars.” 

 

He pushed her away from him and she went to go find a seat. 

 

“Allie, come sit by us,” Kelly called, waving her hands and gesturing down towards a couple of empty seats. “Everything’s going really well,” she said as Allie sat down. 

 

Allie nodded. “Yeah. And the food all looks so good,” she turned to Will and offered him a grateful smile. “Thanks again for cooking so much of this. I honestly don’t know what we would have done without you.”

 

“Harry mentioned something about a dinner consisting of only cranberry sauce, so maybe that.”

 

Dinner went really well. Will only mentioned the food shortage once, and Kelly slipped them each an extra serving of her marshmallow sweet potatoes. People seemed to be having fun, and, maybe best of all, enjoying her cranberry sauce. 

 

“Want some of my pie?” she asked, holding her plate out to Harry.

 

He scrunched his nose up and shook his head. “I’m good. Pumpkin pie is disgusting.”

 

“You’re disgusting.”

 

They stayed for a little while to help clean up, sweeping and putting away tablecloths and centerpieces, before heading home. 

 

“That was fun,” Allie said, carrying a tupperware full of leftovers with her. 

 

“Mikey’s lemon bars were surprisingly good. I’ll have to ask him for the recipe,” Harry commented and Allie laughed. 

 

“I’m happy it all worked out so well,” she said. “It felt normal and calm and the food was good. Everything was good.”

 

“How are we going to top this, Pressman?” he joked and she grinned.

 

“On Christmas I was thinking we’d raffle off one of your cars,” she replied easily, nudging him in the side. 

 

Harry laughed and she couldn’t help but laugh too before adding a half-hearted, “You think I’m joking Bingham?” in between bursts of random giggles.

 

She really wasn’t sure what she’d do without him.

  
  


/

  
  


Her stomach woke her up. It felt like someone was twisting her insides, wringing them over and over again. 

 

“Harry,” she called out desperately, untangling herself from him as she rushed toward the bathroom.

 

He followed close behind her, rubbing sleep from his eyes as he crouched down beside her and moved to pull the hair away from her face. “You okay?” he asked, his voice simultaneously both tired and worried. 

 

She rested her arms on the toilet bowl and heaved into it. 

 

“I’ll take that as a no.” 

 

Allie didn’t have enough energy to roll her eyes. Her heartbeat was suddenly all she could hear as the world around her began to spin faster and faster. She closed her eyes in an attempt to make it stop, breathing in and out until it hurt.

 

“Hey hey hey,” Harry said, rubbing her wrist lightly. “Stay right here, okay? Don’t move. I’ll be right back. I need to call Gordie.” Harry stood slowly, pushing her hair behind her ears. “I’ll be right back.” 

 

He ran out of the room and Allie rested her head against the toilet. She felt like she was on fire, like it was the hottest day of summer and she was stuck outside in the sun. She made some sort of half-assed attempt to stand up, to move back towards the bed. Suddenly all Allie wanted to do was go back to sleep, to sleep away whatever the fuck was wrong with her and wake up alright.

  
  


“Fuck. Okay, so we need to get you to the clinic,” Harry said, pulling her up gently. Her legs felt like jello, and she couldn’t stop shaking. It’s all somehow worse when she’s upright, and maybe she stood up too fast, or maybe the sickness just got to her, but after that, the world went black.

  
  


/

  
  


The world came back to her slowly. 

 

First, it was Harry’s hand squeezing her’s and whispered sorry’s over and over. She wanted to whisper back that it wasn’t his fault, but her voice wasn’t quite there yet, and she wasn’t sure if anything was actually real. 

 

Then, it was the too bright light of wherever she was. The type of light that would give people headaches, fluorescent and unnecessary. It was like when you hold your phone up to your face in the middle of the night and can’t see a single thing. It was way too much all at once and it wouldn’t go away no matter how tight she squeezed her eyes shut.

 

And finally, it was the noise. The bustle of people all around her saying things she could only partly understand. Something about poison, something about Thanksgiving, something about puking. Only the last of those things made much sense to her, but it wasn’t something she particularly cared to think about.

 

Her eyes opened, and nothing made much sense. 

 

Harry was sitting right next to the bed in a chair pushed in close. He was staring at her, a cautious smile erupting on his face when she made eye contact. 

 

“Hey,” he said quietly. She was thankful for that, thankful for the whisper.

 

“Hi.” Her voice was hoarse and her throat burned. 

 

He pulled a glass of water off of the table next to her. “Here,” he offered. “Drink some.”

 

She obliged, gulping it down slowly at first, and then faster as the cup emptied. 

 

“You okay?” 

 

“I’ve definitely been better,” she half-heartedly joked. In all honesty, she still felt like shit, but the world had stopped spinning and though her stomach did still hurt, she doubted that she’d be over a toilet again any time soon. 

 

He exhaled quickly, probably as close to a laugh as he was going to get. “Nine other people were sick too,” he told her. “They think it was poison.”

 

Her eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Poison? Like food poisoning?”

 

“Maybe? Hopefully.” 

 

“Or…?” she prompted.

 

Harry took a deep breath. “Or someone was actually trying to poison people.”

 

She didn’t really take it in right then and there, the severity of his words. She was tired and weirdly hungry even though she wasn’t sure if she could ever eat food again. Nothing made much sense still.

 

They went home later that day after everyone else had filled her in. Kelly, she found out, had been the one to save everyone, taking charge in a way Allie doubted anyone else could’ve.

 

“Dr. Kelly,” Allie joked, but some truth saturated her words. “Thanks for saving my life.” 

 

“Thanks for not moving around when I put the IV in,” she quipped back and Allie smiled. Kelly was the type of person she wanted in her corner. 

  
  


/

  
  


The idea hit her while they were driving home. She mulled over it mentally, making a pro-con list that only sorta made sense. Her brain was still rattled; her head still hurt. 

 

“We need to hold an election,” she said finally, sitting down on the couch as Harry shut the front door and closing her eyes. She was tired, exhausted, more so than she’d been in months. 

 

“What?” he questioned, taking a seat next to her. 

 

Allie opened her eyes, squinting as the sun shined directly on her. “An election,” she repeated. “If we want to prosecute this person, whoever decided to poison us, then we need to make sure that we actually have power. It’ll be different than Dewey. People’s sympathy is all dried up. We’re practically illegitimate leaders.”

 

Harry shook his head. “You want to risk everything with an election?” he asked and she nodded. 

 

“People can’t question us if they’re the ones to vote us in,” she argued.

 

“What if we lose? Then what?” 

 

She looked at him indignantly. “Then we lose, Harry. And we finally get to not worry about stupid shit like who to put on picking up trash.” 

 

They were silent for a moment until Harry raised his hands up in a sort of surrender. “Fine,” he ceded. “But if we lose--”

 

“We won’t lose.” 

 

Harry didn’t seem to believe her, and his lack of confidence very quickly got to her. Maybe if she was just a little less tired, a little less done with this place that they were forced to call home, she would have taken back her suggestion, but part of her, a very large part of her, was done with being a leader, with having to break up little fights and answer stupid questions. 

 

So she stuck with it.

  
  


/

  
  


“I bet you think pumpkin pie is gross now,” Harry joked.

 

“I kinda think all Thanksgiving food is gross now, honestly,” she admitted, making a sad face. “It’s not fair that whenever I think of turkey I think of that night.”

 

“We’ll have pizza next year.”

  
  


/

  
  


The food shortage and then the poisoning put everyone on edge. Allie began to wonder if an election was really the best idea. It was in the quiet moments that she thought those thoughts. The moments that she worried would leave if things changed. 

 

The poisoner wasn’t discovered. A few possible suspects were brought up, but when it came to the actual execution of the poison, no one made sense. Lexie, actually, was the one who had made the most sense, seeing as she brought pumpkin pie, but she argued easily that she’d eaten it herself and hadn’t gotten sick. 

 

People were starting to get worried about the food they ate and where they ate, afraid that whoever did do the poisoning would strike again.

 

The expedition left with bags packed full. Allie helped make a banner to say goodbye, and stood next to Helena while she prayed for their safety. 

 

She almost didn’t announce the mayoral election. She almost chickened out. But Harry nudged her with his elbow, as if to remind her that is was her idea, and suddenly she couldn’t not do it. 

 

“We’ve decided to hold an election for both mayor and council positions. Sign up by five o’clock on Wednesday. Our first debate will be Friday,” she announced. She wondered if she sounded as tired as she felt. And if that would be taken as a sign of weakness. 

 

They walked home together. It was silent, their fingers interlaced but motionless at their sides. She kept asking herself when he’d remind her what a bad idea the election was. She was ready to let him have that victory. He was right. 

 

It never came.

 

Instead, he whispered, “We’ll win,” to her with a quiet voice so sure of himself, a confidence that was infectious.  

 

And that was all it took. She believed him.

  
  


/

  
  


Elle came to them in the morning, ringing the doorbell once, then twice. Allie pushed Harry off of the bed, and he fell with a thump.

 

“You’re gonna pay for that Pressman,” he said, but it was half hearted at best and all she could really do in response is wrap the blankets tighter around her. It was way too early to even think about getting up.

 

She could hear the door swing open and a muffled exchange between Harry and someone else ending with him saying, “I’ll go get her,” before his light footsteps sounded down the hall and he returned. “It’s Elle. I think you’ll want to talk to her.” 

 

And Allie had never been a morning person, but there was something about how Harry said it, the worry and pain and near franticness in his voice, that made her rush out of bed. “Is she okay?”

 

“I don’t know.”

 

Elle’s story came out in bits and pieces, full of shaky hands and quiet words. Allie hated herself for not noticing sooner, for letting Campbell go even after Elle came to her, for being so wrapped up in herself that she wasn’t able to see the obvious in the world around her. 

 

“I am so, so sorry, Elle,” Allie said, reaching out and holding Elle’s hands within her own. “You can stay here, if you want. We have a few spare bedrooms and lots of space.”

 

Elle nodded. 

 

“We can arrest him,” Harry offered. “I can talk to Luke and get him locked up.”

 

Elle nodded again. 

 

Campbell’s arrest went about as smoothly as she’d have expected something of that nature to go. It was another pre-dawn type thing on a morning so cold that no matter how many layers she had on she couldn’t stop shivering. 

 

“We should have stayed home,” Harry mumbled and she offered him a small nod.

 

“Next time.” She really hoped there wouldn’t be a next time. 

 

Campell went without much of a fight. He shouted a few things about how it wasn’t fair, and even tried to tell Clark that they were lying to him, that it was all a ploy for more power. In the end, though, he was brought down to the police station (“ _ because a wine cellar _ ,” Allie pointed out, “ _ is a stupid place to hold a criminal _ ”) and locked up. 

  
  


/

  
  


The Expedition came back with news of a world beyond what they know. Of fields, and turkeys, and a possibility for survival. 

 

“We might be able to make it here,” Allie said to Harry, the news bringing a smile to her face that wouldn’t disappear. “We come move out there and become farmers.” 

 

Harry laughed. “I don’t think either of us are cut out to be farmers.”

 

“Maybe not now,” she shrugged. “But we can learn. We’re all going to learn.”

 

Harry grinned at her and shook his head. “I don’t know, Allie. I’ve seen you try to garden.”

 

She made a face at him, scrunching up her nose and trying not to laugh. “You’re so mean.” 

 

“Just honest.”

 

Allie snorted, pausing before she said, “I talked to Grizz. I was thinking that we could make him the mayor of that new plot of land. It doesn’t make any sense for us to be in charge of it when we probably won’t even be going over there all that often.”

 

“New Ham’s lucky that at least one of it’s leader’s is smart.” 

 

The future was beginning to look bright.

  
  


/

  
  


It surprised her when no one else signed up to run for Mayor. It didn’t surprise Harry.

 

“Winning by default is really the only way to win,” he joked and Allie elbowed him in the side.

 

“It’s the only way you’ve ever won, huh?” 

 

Harry elbowed her back.”Don’t expose me like that.” 

 

It shouldn’t have surprised her as much as it did. When she thought about it, she couldn’t think of anyone that would want to run against them.

 

“So, since no one else signed up for the position of mayor, I thought we could just quickly vote on Harry and I’s continuation in the position. Everyone in favor raise your hands please.” 

 

Everyone raised their hands. 

 

Harry grinned. “So I guess we’re still mayors.” 

 

Allie rolled her eyes at him before continuing on. She announced their nomination for Grizz as mayor of the new plot. No one objected. For once, she wasn’t surprised. 

 

They were going to create a whole new world, a world of their own. It was going to be messy and ugly and beautiful and amazing. She was excited. 

  
  


/

  
  


In the end, Allie couldn’t help but wonder if there was another universe out there where they weren’t as close. How different would things really be? 

 

“I think you’re my best friend,” she whispered one morning, curled up against his chest, her eyes staring up at the ceiling.

 

He squeezed her waist gently, his thumb rubbing light circles into her side. “You’re definitely my best friend.”

 

That other universe, she decided,  _ sucked _ .  
  


 

_/_

 

 

 _All the double-edged people and schemes_  
_They make a mess then go home and get clean_  
_You're my best friend, and we're dancing in a world alone,_  
_We're all alone_  
_We're all alone_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> that was a wild ride, huh. sorry if that ending was a little to sappy; i just couldn't help myself  
> ok so some clarifying stuff:  
> \- i like to imagine that dewey was just a completely horrible person who, if even sorta nudged in that direction, would kill cassandra. campbell was the guy to nudge him. the guys were still making those jokes before prom but harry wasn't there cause he was with allie (he's always with allie in this fic cause he's whipped)  
> -the town likes them more cause not only is harry one of the leaders (i kinda have this headcanon that people loved him before all of this and that kinda carries over here) but also because less stuff is taken away from them (in the end they're all still a bunch of over privileged teenagers, so the less change = less tantrums)  
> -lexie's kinda not a horrible person in this for the exact reason mentioned above. she was a voice for the people in the show, but here the people are happy so she's happy (also i kinda really liked the idea of her having a shit ton of frozen pizza stock piled)  
> -and the guard don't rebel because harry's in charge too and i kinda think that sometimes dumb white boys only respond to other white boys but that's kinda just my excuse for avoiding conflict oops  
> -also, i didn't mention it in the fic, but becca has a baby and it's still perfect and amazing  
> ok i think that's it! hope you at least sorta liked it!  
> and another huge thank you to [buckebarns](https://buckebarns.tumblr.com) / [wolfchester](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfchester/pseuds/wolfchester) you're amazing and awesome and amazing and i don't know what this would have been without you!  
> also follow me on [tumblr](https://in-my-head-i-do-everything-right.tumblr.com/) and comment stuff pls

**Author's Note:**

> This is part one of two, so stay tuned for the second part! 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed the fic! Comment what you think or prompts or whatever else you want!
> 
> Also follow me on [tumblr](https://in-my-head-i-do-everything-right.tumblr.com/) and another huge thanks to [buckebarns](https://buckebarns.tumblr.com) / [wolfchester](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfchester/pseuds/wolfchester)


End file.
